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Chris' Ramble of the Week - 11th June 2010

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July 2010
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So the WORLD CUP’s about to kick off - how exciting! I can’t wait; I’m such a massive footie fan – I’m nearly six feet tall, which makes me a massive fan, right? I’m going to be rooting for the home team, of course, and supporting… Salford!

What do you mean, ‘Salford isn’t a country?’ Ah, well, I’ll support England, then; three lions and all that. We stand a good chance this year, don’t you think? We’ve got a team made up of eleven blokes (a good number for football; the correct number actually), all of them know how to kick, and all of them have feet, which are very useful in football.

Imagine, if you will, that football wasn’t football but was actually, erm, I don’t know… how about ‘bellyball’? A game where all you can do is pass the ball around using your tummy! It’d take a lot of skill, and even the most unfit of players could get involved – in fact, those with a big belly would probably be better at it! The coach would put all of the players on a diet of pies, pies and more pies! And the game would only stop when the ‘bellyball’ gets stuck in the belly button of one of the players!

Ore’s got it sweet this week – he’s reporting all the World Cup action straight from South Africa! I asked if I could go with him, and he said yes, but when I told him I should probably bring Ed with me, he ran off to catch his flight early. He said something like, 'I don’t want Penny-Pincher Petrie getting me to pay for everything!' and off he went. Ah, well, I bet it’s not that fun out there. It’s not like they’re hosting the World Cup or anything.

Are they…? GET RAMBLING!