So, HORRIBLE HOLIDAYS, eh? Surely holidays aren't supposed to be horrible, they're meant to
be relaxing! You don't want to go skiing down a mountain of snot, or find a fly in your orange juice.
Speaking of orange
and holidays, have you ever wondered why there are little umbrellas in the drinks when you go abroad or to the beach? Are
they there incase flies DO get in your orange juice, so that way they can stay nice and cool in the shade whilst they do backstrokes
through your drink? Mind you, the fly's P.E. teacher must've been really good to teach an insect to swim!
I love swimming!
Especially on holiday - in the sea, in the pool, in the…erm…in the bath…? Actually, that's silly, you can't
swim in the bath. Unless it was a HUGE bath! Say, several metres wide! Hang on, wouldn't that be a pool then? Imagine having
a bath as big as a pool - you wouldn't fit it indoors, would you? It'd have to go outside. Which would make it an outdoor
bath. Or pool. Whatever.
Where was I? Oh, yeah, holidays: they're not horrible, are they? They won't be this half term
coz we've got brand new Horrible Histories every day, you've got Iain and Dodge rocking the afternoons and me and Ed making
you laugh in the mornings. What could possibly be horrible about that?
Unless you were watching us from up top that
snot mountain I told ya about. That'd be gross! The nose it came from must be HUGE!!!